With Every Beat of My Heart

As the dust settles with the wind,

So my pen rises to settle the words wanting escape from this institution my body and mind have become.

No one direction, merely an exhalation of my emotions, a resurrection in deep need.

In the dichotomy of fragility and stubbornness, they float in limbo.

The heartbeats which beat disguise of pain or premonition.

Squeezed into a chamber, crying out for exhalation and resurrection.

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Outside Looking In

Carla Golian, 2017, oil on canvas, 40 x 50 cm

Passes by, passing me by,
I watch, as the train goes by.
Hoping it’s not my life,
Passing me by.

Sitting on the outside, looking in.

A couple of days after I drew up a sketch for this painting, on August 11,  a train traveling from Cairo crashed into another in Port Said in Alexandria. It was an unfortunate tragic accident. Goes to show that sometimes, it’s not so bad being on the outside looking in.

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Spirited Away

Carla Golian, 2017, oil on canvas, 40 x 50cm
This painting is inspired by the Anime film, Spirited Away

I try to let go, to let go, to let go,
And to let go some more.

I try to hang on,
To the faith, to the hope, the beauty

I try to hang on,
To the promise that no one made,
The promise of the promised land.

The divine paradise.
To be,
Spirited Away.

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The Icon


What is God? Who am I? Why am I here?
These are questions Victoria has been endlessly trying to answer all her life.
Things take a turn when she comes across a book, “La Très Sainte Pyramide.” The three centuries old writer and alchemist, The Count of Saint Germain, has authored the book.
Is it real? Is he alive? Is the book legitimate or is it a scam?
Victoria sets out to answer!

Available on Kindle

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Random Rambling

My thoughts rise,
Like the notes of song,
Rising and Repeating
Over and over again.

Can’t get no rest from its insistence,
To repeat and repeat and repeat,
Over and over again.

And again, and again.

And yet again.

God save me!

Only God can save me,
Or myself.

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The Light in the Storm

In the circus of my chaos
It is everything but funny, to me.
Stormy, aye…
Dark and desolate, as we expect misery to be.

Yet still, and especially now,
the ultimate expression of the divine manifests,
The Light shines…
Shinning through the storm, the dark and the wind.
Rays of hope and faith,
Beauty and love.

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